We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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