She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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