why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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