you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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