How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
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i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
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6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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