Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
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So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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