Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
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the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
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I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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