i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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