I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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