We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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