So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
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I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
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I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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