Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Come on in and take your pants off
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