I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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