No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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