Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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