You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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