last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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