is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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