I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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