I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize