# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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