You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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