i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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