I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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