I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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