if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize