i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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