she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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