I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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