that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
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Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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