I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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