he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize