Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
it was like eating out sand paper
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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