we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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