My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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