Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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