Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
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Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
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I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize