your room smells of hookers.
And success
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize