I am spending my child support on dildos
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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