I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
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Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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