Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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