Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize