I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
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I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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