My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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