He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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