I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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