that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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