I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
MIDGETS
????
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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