he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
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I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
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I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Pants are for mortals
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize