I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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